Pretty things, funny things, interesting things...sometimes stuff that cause a strong feeling and occasionally my thoughts. I use profanity a bit liberally and can be long winded. Just a warning.
It took Java over 19 years to realize “hey maybe we should allow unsigned integers”
Target is where you go when you’re gonna try to restructure your entire life with 100 bucks, and you’re counting on a shoe rack, thumbtacks, a whiteboard, and new stationary to do it.
Everyone in here is looking for forgiveness and they’re trying to find it in a tasteful desk lamp and minimalist day planner
There is a fine line between “keeping lots of things because you really might need them some day” and “keeping lots of things because you have an anxiety/compulsion disorder”. Growing up in a working class household with at least one parent who hoards means I got to grow up watching one of my main adult behavioral models lie on top of that line, kvetching.
Mental illnesses manifest across all social/economic classes, financial stress is bad for your mental health, and percentage wise there just are straight up more poor people in the world than rich people. Between those facts, and my childhood, it’s really weird when I see posts that talk about ‘hoarding’ as just keeping stuff because you might need it, and dismissing minimalism aesthetics as a ‘rich people’ thing, without acknowledging that some people’s brains are fucking them over.
Like, okay, said parent? Wanted to keep plastic salad tubs from the grocery store, after we’d eaten the salad, because they could be used to store things. But the stuff we were supposed to store in them (pens, tape, buttons, what ever other shit was filling up the house) either already had a place to be stored, or was “being used!” (part of some never-ending in-progress project taking up a table) so we weren’t supposed to put it away. So we’d have one or two plastic salad tubs full of sharpies or crayons, and then just…this growing stack of empty plastic salad tubs, on bookshelves, under tables, some stacked together, some just kinda scattered by themselves through the house.
I know the line is very fine, and kinda moves around, and likely has coffee stains on it. I’d just like the discussion of clutter and minimalism and class to at least acknowledge that the line is there, you know?
prehistoric burials make me really emotional because people go “it’s natural to only think of yourself to get ahead! people who don’t do anything shouldn’t be a part of society! back in caveman days they would have died!”
but there is archaeological proof that this is wrong. That even at our most “primitive” we cared about the well being of others.
like Shanindar 1. Shanindar 1 is a neanderthal from 35,000 to 45,000 years ago who was buried with many others in Shanindar Cave, Israel. At this point in time we had not yet developed settlements. Shanindar 1 was part of a nomadic hunter-gatherer group.
Shanindar 1 was severely disabled. From his skeleton we can gather the following
If you believe that it’s only natural to abandon the weak he should have been left to die instead of drain the group’s resources. Someone like that would have needed assistance for his entire life. He would have slowed the group down with his limp. His sensory impairments meant he would require help to spot and defend himself from predators. His arm meant he couldn’t hunt or build.
He lived well into his 40s. For a neanderthal of that era he would be considered old. His group decided that they would help him survive not because he brought anything to the group, but because he was still a person who mattered to them. Even at the end of his life he wasn’t abandoned; he was buried with dozens of others.
Anyway… 2019 is about being bisexual and sexy
Welcome twenty bi-teen
Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.
okay but what’s updog ?
Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.
No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released
You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.
No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.
surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs
You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
no that’s an updraft
updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them
No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.
No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.
No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
What’s a henway?
Oh, about 5 pounds.
let me tell you, archie simmons chasing werewolves off of a high school football field on a motorcycle was not how i expected to ring in the new year but it sure was fitting
Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.
Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.
Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.
Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.
I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.
Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.
But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.
Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.
Thank you thank you thank you bless this post ohmygod thank you
